Big River Man

One man against nature. Big River Man tells a tale of Martin Strel from Slovenia who is an endurance swimmer. However, he's not your typical athlete. The man is fat, a drunk and 53 years old and about to break the record and swim the entire length of the Amazon...

David Walliams is nothing compared to this man. A former gambler who started endurance swimming past 40, he's tackled the biggest rivers in the world. He might be a nobody in the celebrity world, but in Slovenia he's a big deal and this film, narrated by his son, is a portrait of a fascinating man on an incredible journey.

We start as his son paints us the picture. His father is a quiet, friendly, charming man who has already swam the Mississippi, the Danube and the Yangtze which includes some horrible footage of the pollution and dead bodies floating past the swimmer. He is constantly drunk and watching the man squirt red wine into his mouth from a water bottle while he's wading in water is a sight to behold, but yet he is accustomed to it. This Slovenian work hard/play hard lifestyle isn't a healthy one and yet he persists with swimming for days on end. He is a remarkable man, even if just for the fact that he's alive let alone having the stamina of a superhero. But yet he has his flaws ...

As the Amazon swim kicks off, we get a first-hand look at what makes the man tick - but his son is ever-present to fill in the rest. There's talk of his abusive childhood, his past job as a professional gambler, his love of America interspersed with footage of the swimming, but it is on his Amazonian trial that we see a human pushed to the absolute physical and mental limit.

Within a few days Martin is sunburnt and is drinking copious amounts of beer which is merely dehydrating him, which he refuses to believe. So he is given a rag to put over his face and a hat, making him look like the swimming elephant man instead of Martin and in a way, it is the first step to someone losing their humanity and becoming merely a vessel. The poor swimmer slowly goes insane, mirrored in his navigational partner and not only that but his heart is about to give out any second. He is hearing voices and soon remains absolutely silent, refusing to move if it isn't swimming and attaching car batteries to his head in a strange method to make himself sane. What starts as a jolly test of endurance, soon becomes a horrible nightmare.

As he nears the end, it becomes slightly uncomfortable to watch and once it ends you feel like Martin will never be the same and according to his son, he isn't. He has recurring dreams that he has to begin the swim again and the river soon picks him up and lets him fly over it. It's this sense of fighting your own demons in a path to God that is touched upon briefly but dismissed because it doesn't necessarily have to be God, but a certain inner peace which Martin is clearly aiming for, yet this underlying theme of Jesus does tend to crop up. His sense of achievement and near-martyrdom is supposed to give hope around the world yet falls unflatteringly on it's face once the talk shows soon lose interest. It's not just a struggle through a river, but through life and you might meet people along the way, it might have it's up's and downs and it might be dangerous but like this film, it was quite a journey.

Although I recommend this documentary, it was far from perfect. Some scenes, and especially some certain shots, looked forced and fake making me judge the whole piece in a cynical manner - something that is risky for such a project. There were also moments I didn't quite understand such as why his son wouldn't be allowed in an ambulance but the camera crew are, which added to the melodramatic effect it didn't need. I don't think it was very well shot either and the directing was formulaic and try-hard with lingering pointless shots that weren't interesting - whereas it would have done better concentrating on the content and the natural beauty of the area rather than trying to make it look too Hollywood. How many reflections of things off the water do I want to see in 90 minutes? Not one really, it's so cliche, which is a shame as the subject matter certainly wasn't. I feel anyone could have been there with a camera and still got out this film no matter who was behind it and for that it shows good foresight but not enough practical inspiration to see it through.

A great film about a great man, I'm sure your Dad would love it if he feels like he's getting on a bit.

Rating: 8/10

Uncharted Movie News

It's official - Sony have cast Mark Wahlberg as Nathan Drake in a movie adaptation of the incredible PS3 Uncharted series.

As anyone knows, Wahlberg's perpetual worried look will make a lot of fans displeased. Look at his Max Payne game remake for instance. Nathan Fillion had expressed an interest in playing the role, which would have been a million times better but instead we're left to see an amazing game franchise get completely raped by a crap actor. Yes crap. Does anyone else agree? "Oh what about The Departed?" umm.. wasn't he just an angry the whole time? Isn't he just supposed to look angry all the time? I think it can be safely said that whatever films he does, he's not a bankable star by any means.

So what about the director? David O Russell will take the helm which is a surprise because he's done some very strange films and is known for well... not getting on with his cast. George Clooney smacked him about in Three Kings and there's that fight on YouTube he has with Lily Tomlin in I Heart Huckabees, and he's got The Fighter coming out with Wahlberg and Bale which might be a good impression of how much he can get out of Wahlberg's limited acting. Pesci and De Niro have even been rumoured to play Wahlberg's father and uncle - which will be strange. I'm just hoping it won't be another National Treasure ... I'd rather kill myself.

South Park Season 14

South Park's 14th season was a strange one. Do you remember the days it was about some strange people in a little town? Not anymore...

I'm a huge fan of South Park and I think it's one of the most creative, original social commentaries of our time - all wrapped up in a cartoon format for adults. However, if you look how it's evolved year by year, then you'd see that it has probably peaked a few seasons back. Instead, South Park seems to take pride in being a last-minute story about current affairs or social trends or celebrity news stories. A Comedy Central advert even advertised it as a 'Which celebrity will they take the mick out of next?' thing - and I thought it missed the point. It seems they might be a little preoccupied with creating controversy than focusing on good jokes and so they end up with this mixed bag which is the 14th season.

There's one good thing that has happened to South Park since it's first episode back in the day and that's it's pace. It no longer hangs around or holds back with some lame joke, it completely runs riot and does what it wants trying to cram in as much as possible - which for a show like this works a lot better I feel. Though I could be wrong.

The first episode Sexual Healing is about sex addictions and mainly Tiger Woods, it once again relies on celebrity whacking and just doesn't contain enough jokes to make it a worthwhile watch, it's a pretty bad start for a season and one that shows that they wanted to come out with something that included a big name so people would be like 'no they diddddn't!!' . The Tale Of Scrotie McBoogerballs is a good Butters episode where the boys write a disgusting book and blame it on Butters. It's after the boys read Catcher In The Rye which is supposed to be all controversial and they don't find it the least bit offensive. I find that a lot of books which try to be controversial often try too hard and seeing as it's usually written by someone who stays in their room all day, it's hard to imagine they have any idea what they are talking about. People are literally sick all over the world and this prat-fall visual gag is a good one, but again it fails to inspire a rewatch.

Medicinal Fried Chicken is a better episode with some good Randy moments (perhaps my favourite character) and some good Cartman / Scarface storylines and I think, much like The Simpsons producers realised with Homer, South Park fans love anything to do with Randy rather than the kids. Stan and Kyle have turned into little whiny moaners, especially Kyle and no-one really cares about Kenny that much. Cartman however, goes from strength to strength and it's good that they try and spend as much time on him as possible as he is the real star - alongside Randy of course.

You Have 0 Friends is to do with Facebook and it being essentially a monster of it's own. The great thing is Stan going into a Tron world inside Facebook and Randy, of course, is completely in love with the idea of social networking. The funny bits are basically the bits with the loner kid and the idea of friends as a currency in the online world, but again, compared to earlier episodes such as the one with Faith + 1, Fingerbang or so on, it really doesn't stand up. The next up was a two parter about celebrities, and mainly Tom Cruise getting their own back on South Park, it was also about the sudden shock news of showing Mohammad. These episodes did create a bit of a frenzy in the Muslim world but really it's just more celeb bashing with celebs they've used already anyway. So nothing new really.

The last episode of the first half of the season (phew) was Crippled Summer and apart from the 'Mimseyyyy!' line and a shark raping a kid, it was pretty crap. Why they ended the first half on this I'll never know. When it came back months later with Poor and Stupid, a show about NASCAR, there was some funny Cartman and Butters moments - "that's gay" - but it was quite boring. It's a Jersey Thing takes a look at the sudden hype surrounding shows like Jersey Shore, Housewives of New Jersey etc. and has one of the most shocking endings I've seen on a South Park yet as the Taliban fly some American Airline jets in to save the day and Bin Laden is commended as a hero. I don't think I saw that one coming.

Insheeption was another favourite and caused some outrage by copying jokes from well known comedy site College Humour (as documented in this blog). The episode which has a look at Mr Mackey's past is hilarious and the young Mackey is the best thing I'd seen in South Park in this season. The next three episodes returns to Cartman's Dark Knight Coon superhero, except he now has Coon and Friends (a homage to old TV series Spiderman and Friends), it's the classic gang with a new member Mintberry Crunch and you find out who Mysterion, as well as the others, while they try to save the world from BP's mistakes - "sorry". This 3 parter started well but soon got quite boring and the very end was a big anti-climax - which is a shame because there were a couple of good moments.

The final episode Creme Fraiche is another good Randy episode as he seems to get aroused by cooking while his wife has a strange new exercise machine. Once again, there were a few good moments, including a great Gordon Ramsay impression by Cartman but it didn't save the series.

Overall, it might even be worse than season 13, and I didn't hold that in high regard either. It's a shame but I think South Park needs to take a look at itself and maybe start spending more time writing the shows because it seems they are running out of ideas. Fortunately, it's nowhere near dying as yet and I still enjoy watching it, it just isn't the same. I'd just rather it stop now than turn into the self-parody that is The Simpsons, a show that is absolutely terrible these days and treats it's audience like a 5 year old child.

It's still better than The Simpsons and I'd say it's better than Family Guy, which is hit and miss for completely different reasons, and definitely not as smart or original (minus the College Humour thing). What I love most is last week, the creators are being sued for Butters doing the 'What What in The Butt' song, probably the last great hope before the show finally started turning into what it is now.

Rating: 5/10

Daft Punk - Tron Legacy (OST)

Exclusive Daft Punk music video for "Derezzed" including some never-before-seen footage from Tron Legacy film. Keep reading underneath for the FULL review of the Tron Legacy Soundtrack by Daft Punk.

Daft Punk return with the soundtrack to the upcoming film Tron Legacy, but is this worth gracing your record collection with?

Firstly, this album has to be taken into context. It is, after all, a motion picture soundtrack, it's the score for Disney's Tron Legacy and isn't meant to be a pop album by any means. However, I have a lot of time for music scores - the obvious ones being Hans Zimmer, Danny Elfman, John Williams etc. but I find it extremely satisfying when producers bring in an outside source to give some remarkable results. Think of Air with The Virgin Suicides, the musical genius that is Kevin Shields with Lost In Translation, okay so they are both Sofia Coppola films but still, you get my point. So in this instance, Daft Punk score the new Tron film and it's surprisingly a mature effort from one of the most successful leading dance crossover artists around.

I wouldn't recommend this album if you are expecting a classic Daft Punk album full of riffs, hooks, and samples because it is nothing like they have ever done before. Instead, it takes you on a journey similar to that Vangelis took people on in Blade Runner, it's dark, epic sounds with a synth backbeat is perfect. Now, I used to absolutely love driving at night listening to Vangelis, especially with a cigarette in my hand. It made me feel like I was driving around in a dark, dystopian future in my own world (if you haven't done it, I'd recommend it) but I can't wait to do the same with this album, it creates a subtle yet chilling atmosphere that is perfect for a film score. In particular, half way through the album it picks up the beat slightly and turns into something you'd hear in a futuristic neon nightclub before the final comedown.

The French duo have clearly pulled out all the stops and taken this all incredibly seriously. You have to remember that some of these 22 tracks sound very similar and you'll be hard pushed to distinguish one from the other but it is supposed to be used for running underneath footage, not to release singles from. Also for all you foghorn fans who enjoyed the scores of the incredible Shutter Island and Inception, then there's quite a bit of that for you too. Surely foghorns are the sound of 2010? Not Cheryl Cole. Though they are quite similar perhaps. But the general feel, is that of a dark, post-apocalyptic Eighties B-Movie (which is kind of how Tron's first incarnation might have been regarded) brought up to date and produced to a high quality - which sounds like a perfect combo to me.

After opening song Overture pipes up, you already know you're in for an epic ride and when Jeff Bridges' voice comes in to describe The Grid, you see a world within computers, much like how you could describe Daft Punk's sound and 'then one day ... I got in'. The score then enters as you can almost picture yourself walking into this digital landscape they have created around you. The Son of Flynn has that typical French sound that runs throughout and when Recognizer kicks in, you feel the pace heighten as something dark seems to be gearing up which leads into the disturbing, sinister Armory. Arena then slowly builds up from silence into a Terminator-esque rhythm which feels like a tribal, battle sound that I'm guessing it wants to create. This sweeps nicely into Rinzler, as the battle drums turn more threatening and it builds up with The Game Has Changed and soon, those Inception style horns kick in with that robotic, digital underbelly that only Daft Punk can pull off successfully.

Outlands conjures up a feeling of mystery and intrigue that slows down for Adagio For TRON where a sadness must occur during the film, or something rather emotional as the violins kick in and then soon that dark, digital sound comes back in. This is an example of the entire album really - it builds an epic landscape where the digital sounds are a constant sinister threat and seem to be chasing you throughout, something that I imagine will be the same in the film where, after all, the technology is the enemy.

Nocturne again is a slower song that seems to end the more reflective part of the album and End Of Line comes in with some absolutely amazing synths that put the hairs up at the back of my neck which soon turns into Derezzed which I'm guessing will be remixed to fuck the next coming months and something I could see at any Daft Punk set. It's probably the stand out track of the entire piece and more immediately accessible than the other tracks.

Fall then enters the scene with what you can imagine to be a dramatic moment in the film with a sweeping score until Solar Sailer calms it back down. The horns get going again in Rectifier which clearly describes some strange danger ahead and then melts into Disc Wars (I think we know what scene this might be from). It takes a while to build up, but the French-electro duo once again clearly put their stamp on a track that could have easily sounded like any other big budget Hollywood score. C.L.U is very similar to the song before but with a tinge of violence (maybe it's the Psycho stabs?) before moving down some musical scales into those recognisable threatening horns and then the drum machine coming back in before an abrupt ending.

Arrival is a classic post-event comedown score which you can imagine where the hero is being reflective on the events that have just happened in C.L.U. Flynn Lives (is that a spoiler?!) is another comedown song that is both beautiful, epic and heroic as it builds back up to a fanfare of sorts.

TRON Legacy (End Titles) is again one of the stand out songs. It sounds like an 8-Bit computer game that you can imagine is worth sitting in the cinema afterwards listening to, because you could probably never hear it that loud again for a while. It's simple yet stylised sound is incredible, especially about 1:20 in when those epic synths come in to add that sweeping sound that makes you realise you've probably just watched an incredible action film (which I'm hoping I will). The Finale song you can tell is the big comedown after the preceding songs, and won't be too out of place in Lord of the Rings or something as it majestically rides over those digital beats leaving a satisfied feeling like every good Disney film should have.

One criticism would be that, unfortunately the songs don't really last too long, most being a couple of minutes or so, which means just as a song is gearing up it's over. However, it's the best background music you could have for anything in my opinion and they've done a fantastic job.

I'm not lying when I say this is one of the best score's to a film yet. I can already taste what kind of a film Tron Legacy will be, and if it's anything like the music Daft Punk have created, it's going to be one hell of a film. Maybe they can do us a favour and take this on tour? Maybe I'm revelling in the hype I'm creating, but I've rated this as a film score and NOT as a typical Daft Punk album - remember it's a different kettle of fish. The songs aren't created for the sole audio experience, but as a guide for what you see onscreen and if they can still impress and tell a story without visual aid, then it's got to be good. Which is why I'm giving this...

Rating: 9/10

Now where's my car keys and fags ...

Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare Video Review

Where else will you see Michael Jackson attacking children? OJ as a KKK member? Sharks attacking zombies? In a review for Undead Nightmare of course! Click on the link at the right for the FULL write up with a more detailed analysis.

LA Noire Debut Trailer Released

Rockstar have released the debut trailer for upcoming game LA Noire and yes, it's a film noir type story set against LA - how could you guess? You might recognise some faces including Mad Men's Aaron Staton. As you can see, the facial movements is something that is far superior to what we're seeing in today's games so this looks likely to be one of the biggest games of next year. Will keep you updated as and when.

Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare DLC

Red Dead becomes Undead in this new DLC that successfully combines the Western genre with Horror so that shooting zombies never looked so cool

Rockstar have graced us with an odd add-on that takes the original game and completely changes it by adding zombies into the Wild West without taking itself too seriously. You start as John Marston again on his farm as his dead Uncle attacks his family and turns them into zombies. After tying them up, he vows to find a solution to help them and so the action begins.

Rockstar have taken advantage of the current Grindhouse trend and given this a B-movie cult horror genre feel by exploiting it in all the right places and being completely self-aware. The zombies move realistically and can only really be put down with a shot to the head and when you do shoot, instead of a typical gaming 'blow-up' head shot, instead only that part of the head is blown away giving the game a physicality not often achieved, especially with such fodder as Dead Rising 2. As you save town after town trying to uncover the truth, you bump into the characters from the original story making it a bit of a nostalgic trip as well. Similar to the original game, you have to help strangers along the way, find missing people and other small missions but essentially you're trying to find out what's behind all this.

As fun as it was to play, saving town after town by giving survivors ammunition (something that is scarce at first but builds up rather quickly) becomes a bit of a ball-ache. You have to go up to one survivor and then head to the others giving them ammo before finishing off the zombies. Trying to negotiate a way to get up to these survivors can be taxing to say the least, especially with zombies biting at your tails. However, once you've saved all the towns and done the main storyline (with a great 'few months later' epilogue) I'd imagine unless you're a completist you'd probably leave it there.

They also cleverly use the zombie factor as an excuse to include zombie animals as well as special 'Apocalypse' horses that if you catch, give you a certain special power. Though my Pestilence horse which was supposed to be impossible to kill, died almost as soon as I got it by falling off a cliff but yet I survived, so that was a bit of an anti-climax. However, there are Sasquatches, unicorns and more to find should you wish to do so. But as fun as it was, saving the towns occupied a lot of my time and soon became annoying. Also the final onslaught in a cave wasn't the big finale I expected it to be, instead it fell quite flat. It's also worth noting that you can still use your Red Eye slowing down time meaning you shouldn't really become too overwhelmed with zombies at any one time. The good thing is there is more than one type of undead, you have the normal ones, you have little fast spider like ones, spitting ones and big boulder-like ones. Therefore, it can keep the killing fresh by mixing it up with an assortment of the four. Weapons are also customised for zombie killing including a gun that shoots dead flesh back at them.

The game still sticks to it's open world sandbox roots, with certain Ranked missions, Treasure hunting and outfit collecting so there is something for everyone here. I couldn't justify spending enough time on it to complete it 100%, but doing the main storyline with bits afterward took about 8 hours, perhaps a bit more, and that's saving all the towns as well.


For a downloadable pack, this is great but I still felt they should have eased off saving all the towns constantly and concentrated more on doing missions. It's a nice, strange 'ending' as such with Red Dead Redemption and a great alternative to the Western feel of the original game. It's unique, brave and has successfully won over a lot of the audience, it's also due to come out on disc form in the near future as well. Rockstar have also announced that a Red Dead bundle will come out at the end of November with this and all the other DLC available in one big package. I recommend you buy this, especially if you loved Red Dead Redemption and it's a great DLC but again it's not perfect. Great idea, great gameplay, but felt like there could have been more to the story and saving all the towns became more of a chore as it went along. I'd love to see a DLC to this DLC (if that makes sense) which just opened it out a bit more, but for such content, depth and originality, it's one of the best DLC's out there. Go forth and enjoy - dead or undead.

DLC Rating: 9/10