I'm Totally Lost

Right, so am I the only one who was totally pissed off with Lost? (Warning given when spoilers about to come up)

Instead of answering questions it just continued with the storyline it had been pursuing for this 6th season of the 'alternative reality' and I thought, for 2 and a half hours, there would at least be some kind of result, that for over 125 odd episodes I have sat through that it would leave me somewhat satisfied, but alas no.

The trouble is, I haven't enjoyed the last few series. I felt the writers were making everything so convoluted that they were sacrificing style over substance. I'm all for the symbolism, the metaphors and the damn right strange (check out my Twin Peaks review) but this was creating chatter and confusion for the sake of it. It is a show that even til the end relied on it's own propaganda, for stirring things up and creating nonsense. Questions answered with more questions.

I enjoyed the first series where there was a monster in the forest, a tribe of indigenous people and a hatch. That led me to consider all kinds of possibilities but you cannot set a prime time drama in a JG Ballard world without cause. This took the viewer's faith in it's writers and exploited it completely to keep people talking and though it might be a 'character' piece, I now have trouble knowing exactly what the characters even were. Did they change? Did they learn
anything? What motivated them? Did they even exist? If you're going to let the audience presume this is based somewhat in reality then don't keep throwing them into the unknown, along with the 'human' characters, and expect them to keep coming back.

So for those who have watched the ending read on, but if you haven't turn away now.

The problem with the ending is that, for something that relied on the fan's devotion, it needs to intermittently reward them and for the ending to a series such as this, it would need a big one. I'm all for controversial open-ended closers, in fact I favour them more than the tying up of loose ends (I loved The Sopranos ending for instance) but for something to have no explanation, symbolic or otherwise, it is either due to lazy writing or inconsiderate rating boosters, because
the viewer will always want to be kept guessing. So for those millions who left the series shortly after the second series then good for you, stay clear of it and leave what you enjoyed about it to remain pure in your heads but for those who stuck with it like me, let us commiserate
together.

I would love to hear from someone who enjoyed the ending and would care to explain to me the whole saga as there must be a lot of you out there, or if, like me, you are totally lost then you might sympathise with these reasons why.

Firstly, what the hell is that statue? Why did the devil guy turn to black smoke in the first place and why did this not happen to Jack or Desmond? In fact when Jacob threw him down there wouldn't he have just landed on that rocky floor below? Why were kids being tested on and
what made Walt so special? Why was he always appearing in visions if he wasn't dead? What was 'the list'? If they all died, then when exactly did they die? What happened with the hydrogen bomb blast then? Do you remember when the smoke was mechanical? Why did it reflect peoples
faces? Why were The Others so supernaturally strong? What about Mr Eko? So did Desmond step into the afterlife and the future and the past? Was Desmond's future ghost then trying to get them to heaven? What was that temple at the beginning of the season 6 and who was that Japanese guy and John Lennon wannabe? What was this 'sickness' that Frenchie was talking about in the first season? What was so dangerous about Claire's baby that the psychic she went to went crazy? So what about the numbers? Why are they bad luck? What about the guy in the asylum that told Hurley? Why were they on a transmission? So Desmond was supposed to put in the numbers late so the Oceanic flight crashed all via fate/Jacob? Why did it have to be entered every 108 minutes or however long? Also Desmond isn't the only one to survive the electro-magnetism, Locke, Mr Eko and Charlie all survived it at the end of the second series! Why would the smoke kill Eko then? Why is Desmond so special in the first place? Is it because he's spent so long dealing with electro-magnetism? What really is that light? How did Jack get out of the
cave at the end? Which island is which as there isn't just one island is there? Why was Penny there at the end? Did she even meet Jack? So her boat and her fathers boat got to the island at the same time a couple of seasons back? Who was Sayid killing people for Ben when they got off the island? What happened with that swinging pendulum? Wasn't Locke being visited by Richard to be the 'candidate'? Why did Sayid die and come back to life 'evil' when he saved everyone in the sub? Did this happen to Ben when he was a kid then when he came back to life? Why can Miles talk to the dead? Why would Daniel's mum not want them to move on? Is that really the end of the Widmore story? What were these 'rules' he set up with Ben? What of these visions of
the 'horse' and stuff? Didn't the man in black want to get off the island before he went 'evil'? Why couldn't he go? Why would Jacob/Richard/Ben want to kill all of the Dharma Initiative? What was the bloody island? Did they all die in the plane crash? How did Locke's Dad really end up there? Why could Jacob and more just up and leave whenever if man in black couldn't? What about moving the island through time? What was that about? What was the point? So who was that woman before Jacob and why did she have to kill their mum? Why was Jacob such a vicious brat? Why would the devil guy suddenly become mortal if the light left? Why was Sayid's General also the other guy pushing the button with Desmond? Why those numbers in the first place? What happened to the other people on the plane in the end? What was on that wall when Locke got trapped in the hatch when Ben was escaping? Why could no-one get pregnant and the mum's all died? Is Hurley really the new Jacob? Really?! Etc etc etc.

Any more people care to add on? I found watching Lost more of a chore and though it was enjoyable somewhat, I feel it was a series that had so much potential but got so twisted
along the way it decided to just hack it all off, rather than masterfully unwind it. I initially heard Lost was only meant to be two series and that the network wanted more, so they threw as much as they could at it to see what would stick and in the end, it was so preoccupied with
it's less than inspiring narrative derived from the illusions conjured up in the first couple of series that it lost that sense of childlike wonder and turned into a strange soap. After all, people have described the ending as an 'emotional' ending about the characters and the structure meant nothing. That doesn't sit right with me. What's the point of having characters if they are set in a world that doesn't make sense?

I'm not saying the entire series was without credit as there were some great moments, but I truly can't believe it when people say how incredible it is. If it's a story that makes itself up as it goes along, which the cop out ending clearly shows is true, then don't come out saying you know where it is going. You clearly don't. There are better, more well-formed dramas out there and what made Lost great was the initial concept and vast array of characters, all of which had
legs, that spawned into a self-glorifying, patronising, arrogant, unfaithful monster that kept the money rolling in. Leaning so far out of absurd and into the ridiculous I have trouble remaining positive but we all know that it will, again, be talked about forever and that is exactly what the broadcasters want. We were totally sold out and, by even writing this blog entry, I have only succumbed to what the beast wanted. I would like to say Lost has had a positive impact on
television, but I'm scared it will throw up more power to the broadcaster and less to the writers and, in the end, we will see another loved show such as Lost get squeezed dry for every penny it
can make. It took a chance, but not necessarily a constructive one. After all, "The End" is going to be released on DVD with an extra 20 minutes of footage. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

Percy Jackson & The Olympians - The Lightning Thief

A fantasy film based on the popular children's book of the same name, we see a young man take a Harry Potter-esque plot through a modern Lord of the Rings world with everything based in Greek mythology. But is it more Zero than Zeus?

For some reason, I came into this film thinking that it would be quite good. I'm obsessed with mythology and a modern take on the old myths seemed right up my street, even if it is a kid's film. Alas, it is not so. Instead Percy, the son of Poseidon, thinks he's dyslexic with ADHD etc. when he knows he can read Latin. Doesn't that seem a bit weird to him? His idiotic friend, who is also his 'protector', is the joke-cracking sidekick, who, seeing as he's really the only black person in the whole thing, came across to me as a servant and it was borderline racism. The annoying girl that he fancies, who is supposed to be an alpha female is just completely lame. But what about Percy himself?

Well, the character is okay. The actor doesn't do too badly, but he hasn't really got that much to work with. But for me, it was about the sideline characters including a great Pierce Brosnan, a sexy Rosario Dawson and a Boromir-esque Sean Bean. But then some ruin it, Joe Pantoliano just glides by as Percy's stepdad, Catherine Keener (whom I usually adore) doesn't really fit as the mother figure and Steve Coogan is absolutely awful as Hades. When he first appears in fire as a huge devil, you almost expect him to go 'Ah haaaaaa!' and his human 'rocker' side made me want to hide behind the sofa in embarrassment rather than fear.

But does it hook you in? Well for something that would have a vast supply of material, that being the best stories in history, you'd think they can't go wrong, but they do. The general plot is somehow, someone has stolen Zeus' lightning bolt and he's not happy. General consensus is that Percy has taken it. Right from the off, there's the issue of how a kid, even a demi-God can steal the most powerful weapon of his from under his nose and why, seeing as there are so many who are aware they are demi-Gods when he isn't, they would think that it is him. Oh because he's powerful? Fair enough. But maybe you should be looking for someone with stealth rather than power? Just an idea. But okay, I'll live with it for now. War in a few days if it isn't found? Come on Zeus, taking it a bit far aren't we?

Cut to Percy at school and loving the water (drink your water kids!) and his crippled mate and wheelchair bound teacher are actually ... strong animal-like beings! Sent to protect him which is nice. But how the hell did they cover Brosnan's horse body in a wheelchair? Magic? Has he got two jobs at the same time if he's running this camp for demi-Gods then? But I'll let that pass. Percy's mother is going out with a complete arrogant slob, which you find out later is because he smells so bad, it covers up the smell of Percy's blood. Umm ... anyone heard of air freshener? I'm sure it would be just as pungent. He can't smell that bad unless covering himself in shit surely? But I'll buy it for the moment.

Once he arrives at the camp, he's lost his mum. Don't worry, it's fairly early on and clear that he hasn't really lost her. But to be honest, he doesn't seem that bothered that she's 'dead'. Instead he's having fun fighting where he's just amazing at everything. Quite lucky then because he's about to go to meet Hades, but to get there you need 3 pearls and visualise where you go so you can get back. Got it? Well fortunately for our 3 heroes, there are 3 pearls and all in the States! Lucky! You'd think maybe Greece? No. After 3 stupid encounters (why not take 2 and get the 2 strong ones to go if time is sparse?) they go and you find out who the Lightning Thief is etc. and then they must go to Olympus. Which is atop the Empire State Building by the way. There's a big battle. The end.

Pretty classic shit story stuff I'm sure you'd agree. But even for a children's fantasy film, it's complete nonsense and you can tell they have tried to make it slightly darker and edgy. Instead it feels bloated, boring with some okayish CG and a complete waste of time. I'm sure it would make great post-Sunday roast viewing when you just want to sit there, but for something with so much money thrown at it, with a popular book behind it, with the whole Greek mythology to keep it interesting and the Harry Potter trend still going strong, you'd think they could do better - and really, they should.

Rating: 4/10